Tag: mental illness

  • Nkateko Masinga // writing stories that reflect her own experiences

    Nkateko Masinga, like with most writers and poets, her writing stems from her passion for reading. Going to the local library with her older sister was her favourite pastime growing up. However, she always felt as though there was something missing in the books she was exposed to. “Girls who lived like me,” Masinga explained. To fill the gaps these books left, Masinga wrote herself into stories that reflected her own experiences. I interviewed Masinga to find out more about her self-published chapbooks and how her writing has evolved over the years.

    Your first chapbook The Sin In My Blackness’ was published two years ago. What were the kinds of themes you were addressing? Continuing from this, why did you decide that an independently published chapbook would be the best form for these works to manifest?

    I wrote ‘The Sin In My Blackness’ as a reflection on my experiences as a black woman in South Africa. The themes I explored in the book are black consciousness, xenophobia, racism and Pan Africanism, amongst others. The title of the book is my personal mantra: ‘I refuse to succumb to the notion that I must hide my hair, bleach my skin or apologize for the way I sound when I speak. There is no shame or sin in my blackness.’

    My decision to self-publish the book was deliberate. I wanted to tell my story on my own terms, without anyone censoring my voice or imposing their own ideas about how the book should turn out.

    An article I read mentioned that you were working on an audio element for this chapbook. Has this been done? Where can people access the audio?

    I was in studio last year recording poems for an audiobookto accompany my first book. When I listened to the final product, I felt that there was something missing so I decided to wait a while before releasing it. I would like to add accompanying music to some of the poems and then see if it works better. In the meantime, I have put some of the recorded poems on my Soundcloud page

    Your second chapbook ‘A War Within The Blood’ was published last year. What were the themes that you were exploring in this chapbook? Is this a continuation of the ‘The Sin In My Blackness’? Share your decision for the title?

    My second chapbook is about mental illness. I will share an excerpt from the preface of the book to fully answer this question:

    When I read a poem titled Battle by Yrsa Daley-Ward, it resonated so deeply with me that I knew I had found a name for my second chapbook. In the poem, Yrsa Daley-Ward talks about the act of loving someone who does not love themselves. She describes it as an internal battle, or more piercingly:

    “A fight inside the bones.

    A war within the blood.”

    The last line reminded me of a poem I wrote in high school, titled The War Within.

    When I wrote The War Within, I had first-hand insight on the internal war that is depression, a glimpse of hell one can only get from experience. The poem won me the third place prize in a school poetry contest but the experiences that led to its inception taught me to use my writing for healing. When I read Yrsa Daley-Ward’s piece, it triggered in me a desire to relive my old wars in an attempt to find the weapons I used to fight them. In my poem When Sweet Things End (from ‘The Sin In My Blackness’), I spoke about “a war you carry inside and outside of you.” Although I was referring to an actual civil war, we sometimes react similarly to the wars we fight for others and ourselves, internally and externally. We carry them around instead of fighting them. They become burdens instead of potential victories.

    What are the themes you enjoy unpacking in your poetry and other writing?

    Writing is therapeutic to me, so I usually write about painful experiencesso I can purge myself of them. The themes I have explored in the past are long-distance relationships (this is a major theme in my latest book, ‘While The Word Was Burning’), depression and the rocky path to self-love.

    What influences your writing?

    My writing is influenced by my experiences and the stories I hear as I interact with people.

    I read online that you have been described as an “indie author”. Could you please explain what this means and how you feel about this label?

    ‘Indie’ means independent, so indie authors are not linked to traditional publishers but are responsible for every step in the production of their own books, from conceptualization and proofreading to printing and distribution. I have no issues with being described as such because it affirms my decision to not ask for anyone’s permission to make my work accessible.

    You have been a part of a number of platforms related to poetry and writing. Can you explain the importance of sharing your work so widely?

    I have always believed that poetry belongs everywhere, not just in print form or on stages at spoken word competitions but also on television and radio. I take every opportunity I am granted to share my work because I believe that poems are a from of social commentary and the world needs to hear our stance on issues that affect us. The fact that governments and institutions appoint a poet laureate is testament that poetry is a vital form of commentary on social and political issues.

    What are you working on at the moment?

    I am working on a collection of short stories titled ‘Blood Moon and Heirlooms.’ I am hoping to have it out in 2019. I have achieved my goal of publishing three poetry chapbooks in three years and now I want to rest and focus on writing new work and growing my publishing consultancy firm (NSUKU Publishing Consultancy).

    If you were to give advice to a young woman of colour who is interested in writing and poetry, what would this be (including advice on publishing, exposure and how to improve their writing)?

    My advice to them is that before attempting to pursue the publishing route,they should submit their work to literary journals and magazines that focus on African literature and specifically those that publish work which resonates with them. Getting your work accepted for publication in a journal that you love is exciting and affirming. Poetry Potion is the first literary journal that gave my work a place to call home. By the time I published my own book, I knew I had an audience because my work was already widely published in journals and I could finally say yes to people who asked me if they could purchase a collection of my work.

    Is there anything else about yourself or your writing that you would like to share?

    Earlier this year, I founded an initiative called ‘Pass The Mic’, which gives young women writers and other creatives a platform to tell their stories on their own terms.

    Below is Masinga’s poem, there must be black angels in heaven

    at the souvenir shop downtown

    i ask to buy a brown angel doll

    for my baby niece

     

    the shop assistant shrugs

    as if to say there are no angels that look like me

    or any of my people

     

    i pull out a photograph and show her

    my niece

    looking like all the black angel women

    who stitched her together with their own bones and blood

     

    i put on my mother’s attitude and tell her

    black dolls

    black mannequins

    black glass ballerinas

    must exist

     

    i imagine dying here

    and instead of someone saying

    look, a black angel

    they will say

    if she flies,

    she must be a witch

     

    i pray often

    mostly to stay alive

    but today i want to ask

    if there are black angels in heaven

     

    – a response to an article titled ‘there are no black angels in heaven’ by Lisa Sharon Harper

  • Illustrator Panteha Abareshi // visually representing the realities of anxiety and depression

    17-year-old Tuscan (Arizona) illustrator Panteha Abareshi is making work that attempts to capture the realities of living with a mental illness. Through her images she represents the struggles that come with anxiety and depression. More than that, she portrays women of colour with strength that shines beyond how they may feel at times. This strength comes from acknowledging vulnerability and confusion. Taking inspiration from the likes of Erykah Badu, films by David Lynch as well as her Iranian/Jamaican upbringing, the main driver for her journey into the art world was the time she spent in the hospital due to her being born with Sickle Cell Beta Thalassemia. She turned her frequent visits to hospital beds into metaphorical studio visits.

    The knives, snakes and roses that appear to be inflicting pain on the women she draws are physical manifestations of the pain that these women are feeling.

    It’s All Excruciating, 2017. From the series ‘Girls//People’.

    A second foundation on which her work is built relates to her rejection of unrealistic understandings of love. “My artwork is a direct expression of my beliefs that the way young people, especially girls, are taught to value, prioritize and derive happiness from ‘love’ is damaging and wrong. I struggle with the societal standards for romance, love and sex constantly, and express that in my work because I want to normalize the notion of women/people not craving intimacy,” Abareshi explains in her artist bio.

    Abareshi hosted her first solo show in New York City in April at Chinatown’s Larrie Gallery where she exhibited a series of works titled “Blessed Is The Pain”. With these works she unpacks what it was like to grow up with divorced parents who have polar opposite attitudes towards religion. “My father, who immigrated from Iran, is a steadfast atheist, and never spoke to me about religion. My mother, who immigrated from Jamaica, is a fiercely devout Christian,” she explains in her artist statement. Being forced to go to church and learn bible verses, while discovering her identity as a woman and holding reservations about Christianity, resulted in damaging interpretations of her personality. These and other experiences while she was growing up contributed towards her anxiety and depression. The works that she put together for her solo show visually represent this tumultuous time.

    To check out more of Abareshi’s work visit her website.

    Flesh, 2017. From the series ‘Blessed is the Pain’