Tag: LGBT

  • FAKA – Speaking With the Gods

    Faka, the dynamic duo of Desire Marea and Fela Gucci, are proudly representing black and queer creativity with potent sound and vision. Along with their glam imagery and performance pieces, they make music which combines the brute force of Gqom with the optimistic ghost of bubblegum township pop, kwaito and gospel. Their artistic manifesto is best epitomized by the song `Izitibane zaziwe ukhuti zibuya ebukhosini’ (Let it be known, that queerness is a thing of the Gods) which they released with the accompanying statement: ‘ this is an ode to all the powerful dolls who risk their lives every day by being visible in an unsafe world. This is a celebration of those who have fearlessly embraced themselves. Because when your identity is the cause of your suffering in the world, you begin to feel the very source of your greatness in the world’.

    This hopeful message underlies the mysterious and alluring debut EP Bottoms Revenge. Adapted from a live piece of the same name, this three track Ep is thirty minutes of outrageously psychedelic `Ancestral Gqom Gospel.’ The opening ‘ Isifundo Sokuqala’ starts with a false sense of calm, until it introduces hypnotic static. The 18 minute title track is ambient odyssey through inner and outer space. Such a terse description undersells how unique their music is, but that’s because it hard to describe something so singular. If I had to pin it down, I’d describe it as sounding like releases from an alternate timeline where Brenda Fassie teamed up with post-punk synthesizer abusers Cabret Voltaire to ritually summon a benevolent matriarchal elder god.

    Appropriately, the EP is released on NON records, a collective which has been steadily building an impressive catalogue of provocative music. In such dark  times, where a racist maniac has just been elected to the most powerful political position of Earth, this expression of individualism and refusal of labels feels like a welcome act of aesthetic resistance.

  • Multiplicity on the Dancefloor: nightclubs for the non-binary

    One of the defining features of nightclubs is that they are loud and dark: there’s little allowance for speaking. It’s a space where our bodies are especially loaded, in part because they are the primary means by which we signal to, and experience, one another. We dance, we push, we touch, we avoid, we shoot glances across the room. The resulting intimacy is charged with volatility — sometimes experienced as warm and exciting, but always on the cusp of something suffocating or even violent.

    Being Pride Week, I was prompted to reflect on some of the ways in which Johannesburg’s night spaces are experienced by queer and/or non-binary bodies. How does cis-hetero-normativity contribute to the contouring of the nocturnal city? To what extent are nightspots designated as ‘gay’ experienced as ‘safe’ by their intended audiences? And how do queer bodies negotiate the layered possibilities and vulnerabilities of the night-time?

    One of the very first places I went out after moving to Johannesburg was Liquid Blue, a cocktail lounge in Melville. It remains unclear to me whether Liquid Blue was originally marketed as a gay bar, or whether it has simply been claimed by a queer audience. Either way, the lounge is now a widely celebrated gay night-spot, with a playlist that spans house, kwaito, hip-hop, RnB and pop — designed to keep the dancefloor jumping. My early experience at Liquid Blue made me stunningly optimistic about Johannesburg’s night scene and to this day, it remains the most inclusive club I have visited in the city. No entrance fee, with an audience that is acutely representative of the South African demographic: predominantly black, with white, coloured and Indian partygoers as visible minorities. The dancefloor is an exchange of intimacies that disregards race and gender, and although the crowd is mostly men, young women of any sexuality can feel a precious sense of safety.

    Indeed, in my conversations with Johannesburg’s non-binary partygoers, one of the primary debates seemed to be about the place of cis-hetero bodies in queer night-spaces. A few months ago, while chatting to Desire Marea (of FAKA) about partying as a queer, black man, he told me that night-spaces specifically designed for queer audiences are increasingly rare. “Those spaces hardly exist now”, he said. “It’s literally a space that was once a straight club, and now it’s a gay club, and there are still some straight people.” In these spaces that were not designed for queer bodies but in which queer bodies are present, he argues that there is “still that energy and sense of being unwelcome”.   It’s “not as safe as a space that is designated especially for you. And we need those spaces. We can’t just integrate. We want to explore ourselves”.

    When Desire first moved to Johannesburg from KZN, he began renting an apartment in a lesser-known part of inner-city Jo’burg: run-down buildings, occupied predominantly by young men, many of whom had also migrated from KZN. Early on, he and Fela Gucci (of FAKA) began partying at the neighbourhood tavern. Having spent a lot of time in rural taverns, Desire described this to me as one way of connecting to a particular part of his “black experience”.  He and Thato had been in awe of how homo-erotic the tavern was. Young men, many of whom would not have identified as queer outside of that space, were the sole clientele. “They were dancing in ways that would not have been acceptable even at Buffalo Bills”, Desire reflected. It was an intoxicating place, but its permissiveness was also fragile. After one of their friends was assaulted there, they did not go back.

    Desire now speaks of his successes and struggles in claiming Braamfontein, as a space in which he, and other queer bodies, can feel welcome. There remains, he tells me, a class gulf between nightspots in Braamfontein and the tavern where he once partied, such that those in the tavern do not have access to places like Great Dane or Kitcheners. To some extent, Braamfontein has become a space in which the ‘alternative body’ is welcomed and celebrated. But Desire argues that there is often only a particular kind of ‘cool’, and a particular kind of ‘gay’ that is desired. He told me a story about a time he wore a dress on a night out and was waiting in the queue for the entrance. Although no one else in the line had been asked for an identity document, he was pressed by the bouncer and subsequently turned away. Those queues, he told me, were so often utterly “dehumanising”.

    Part of what Desire is pointing to, in his story about the dress, are particularities about how femme bodies are received in night spaces. He describes this as the “hetero-normativity of gayness” in which “femme bodies are not allowed to express their sexuality in the same way as other gay male bodies”. Of course, club culture that is anti-femme also affects how women experience night-spaces. To this end, the monthly Pussy Party at Kitcheners has sought to create a pro-femme platform that celebrates femme artists and audiences, featuring acts like FAKA, Angel Ho and Dope St Jude, while also pushing back on particular forms of cis-het machismo.

    These are instances in which traditionally hetero spaces have opened themselves up to more fluidity. But to what extent are designated ‘queer’ spaces experienced as ‘safe’ by queer bodies? Unsurprisingly, this answer is also not always clear. Many have told me that while these spaces might allow them to feel comfortable in their sexuality, gay clubs that are almost exclusively white provoke other discomforts and other forms of violence. Some described feeling “unacknowledged” which was “disappointing” and “painful”.  Reflecting on a night out at a gay night-spot in Illovo, a friend said: “obviously I feel safe there as a queer white man. But it made me feel more uncomfortable than when I was in Kitcheners making out with an ostensibly straight boy because it felt like a church of whiteness”.  Despite describing Illovo as “super white”, those I spoke to also recognised it as the heart of the post-Pride party.

    And of course, the city’s designated ‘gay clubs’ are not only racialised, but also classed. In Maboneng, a new nightclub, Industry, has been opened with the aim of catering to “upwardly mobile gay men and women”. It is a very chic spot, playing cutting edge electronic music, with patrons who look as though they just stepped out the pages of a high fashion magazine. It’s in image that is at-once immensely appealing to some, and deeply alienating to others. And indeed, this is likely to be true of many night-spots in the city.

    Much of the discourse on non-binary nightlife in Johannesburg is about the experiences of queer men, with very little attention given to queer women.  In reflecting on her experiences in the nocturnal city, a friend of mine said this: “one of my major concerns when visiting night spots is about the level of unwanted attention and uncalled for touching. For me, not all queer safe spaces feel safe, in the same way that not all heterosexual spaces do. One of my most unpleasant memories at a particular gay bar was being accosted by the bouncers not only outside, but also while waiting for drinks. So one person’s safe space is not necessarily another’s no matter how queer safe they claim to be.” Perhaps unexpectedly, she said that one of her favourite spaces to go at night was the strip club, where the music was good, men did not bother you, and all the attention was on the working women.

    Over the past few days that I’ve spent talking and reflecting about nightlife outside the bounds of cis-heteronormativity, the term ‘non-binary’ has exploded in its meaning. Not only do we need to think about how our night-spaces might welcome or militate against gender non-binary audiences. But we might also think about the ways in which our identities are always more than one thing at once. We might be both woman and queer and black; straight, white and disabled; rural and gay man; hip-hop head and crowd-phobic; and so the list goes on. All of these identities factor in the ways that we experience space. The question of queer-safe nightclubs seems then to point to this wider question: how might we craft night spaces that take our multiplicity as their basis?

    “There’s just a lot more in Jo’burg”, Desire reflects. “There’s a lot more people dealing with energies, dealing with trauma. There’s a lot more conflict. It’s just a thing about the city. The conflict is a thing that’s in the air. But also a unity that’s very hard to reach. You have to delve to the deepest darkest places to try and find shared experience. Nightlife for us is not just going out. Nightlife is also sharing a bed with someone. Essentially nightlife is living the way you want to exist and it’s transcending the experience you have during the day. It’s like you’re emancipating yourself. It’s resistance”. 

  • Thabiso: Gay CBD and the Complexities of Nivea-ness

    Thabiso, a lean figure that would rouse rampant suspicion in the skinny-shaming society that lurked outside the shut door, carried a strong face with eyes that danced with miscalculated intensity. My gaze journeyed lazily along the smooth silver landscape where the moonlight licked his skin; his body paralysed by the emasculating failure that lingered like frankincense in the fabric of my sheets – he could not get hard.

    He failed dismally at it and, as a result, we decided against the premeditated strictly top/bottom dichotomy that we were comfortably abiding by. It only felt fair for the continuation of that highly desired and aggressively pursued ritual that I penetrate him instead.

    I did. And the pressure, coming from all dimensions of the universe, caused me to last only three seconds. I bowed my head behind his hot neck in shame while giving my last thrusts with a depleted dick in desperate denial. He eventually asked me if I had come. My nervous sigh said yes while the wrinkled grape scented latex around me said I was halfway through my second pot of tea already and it was time to leave. A bitter taste became my mouth. I never thought I would ever relate to one of those posters that sell performance enhancers with bold iridescent word art at every street corner.

    Emasculated and displaced in our own sexuality, we lay next to each other. We both failed to execute a single one of the pornographic positions that were promised only minutes before in a heated post-badoo WhatsApp thread. How could we?

    Thabiso tried to climb on top of me again but his eager pelvis met my defiant foot.

    “Stop. No. Can I walk you back to your apartment?” I asked, with my hand gently playing an awkward symphony against his faint ribs while staring at the ceiling which seemed to go on forever in the darkness. “I have experienced violating sexual experiences lately and I’m really not comfortable with having you here anymore. I am sorry, I hope you understand.”

    f2

    I finally looked into his eyes that seemed oblivious to the urgency in my glare. Any guy with good manners would be fiddling with his last button by now, I reasoned.  Instead, he just lay there as still as the hot air around us. “It’s 3am” he finally whispered. “The security locks the gate at 12 and I don’t have my phone with me to call him” he insisted after I assured him that it was safe to walk at that time. There was no way out. Once again I was stuck with a stranger in my bed.

    I talked myself out of the cry that doesn’t belong to us “men”, just in time to hear words I never thought I’d hear spoken in my bed. I grew up thinking, dreaming and naively pursuing the perfect image of love, the perfect romance, the picture of Lucas and Sammy rolling in the sands of Salem beach, the picture of that well built white male couple from the Gay Pages I secretly paged through but never bought from Exclusive Books as a teenager. Although all those ideals had been in the process of being unlearnt, in that moment they were shattered out of existence and the pieces pierced my inflated Delusions of Grindr. 

    “It happened to me too”  He said. “I was 19 and still living in Cape Town. My boyfriend was much older. He invited me over one night, but he didn’t tell me his friends were also going to be there.” His eyes didn’t leave the ceiling.

    “The pain….” He choked and I secretly hoped it was because of my strong cologne.

    “… I had to go to the doctor the next morning for the bleeding.”

    How many others? I kept wondering.

    These are not necessarily the things we discuss during/after (a failed attempt at) meaningless sex. These are not necessarily the things we discuss over wine or while waiting to pee at Great Dane. These are not the things we talk about when we are alone with our closest friends. Why? Well, the reasons are probably beyond my comprehension but from where I stand, I have observed a crippling shame attached to any feeling other than the unfazed nivea-ness one is pressured to portray in public spaces as defence. The kind of nivea-ness that makes you ignore the guy you fucked the previous night when you bump into him at Shoprite the following morning; the nivea-ness that will force you to internalise your struggles out of fear that they might be used to moisturise another hoe’s scalp to your disadvantage; the nivea-ness that limits the way we love.

    Our own dancefloors, in the clubs that were not designated for us but occupied by us until we could claim them as our own, have started to echo the violent erasure of the queer experience and all its complexity. You cannot even dance if you want dick when the dick wants nothing but the straight-acting serenity of post-mig33 nivea-ness, dipping its tongue into the neck of a Savannah bottle there by the corner.

    Imagine if you wanted to talk, if you wanted to be nothing but yourself, to be transparent about the things that bother you: your poverty, your strained love life, the residual trauma of growing up gay in an anti gay world, the trauma of not being able to interrogate your own experience of sexual violence because misogynoir has become an integral part of your existence, a mere gaze that polices your horny, gyrating femme body into undesirable sub-human spaces where “tops” can force themselves into your anus even when you have said no because what else could you be asking for? You are gay. Gays love sex.

    My experience with Thabiso made me aware of this ever-spreading rash of unspoken truths hiding beneath dark veil of nightlife in the cbd. It made me cherish the bravery of those who danced, those who walked the streets at night either to the club or to a stranger’s bed, to live the way they wished in a dark city that promised everything. It made me realise the importance of creating safer spaces beyond the frills of our sheets, where we can express our true nature in all its strength and vulnerability without the violence we’re so accustomed to in the daylight. Because everyone on the Buffalo Bills dancefloor, still or mobile, is essentially an adult who was once a child who was probably teased, who probably hated themselves until they found in a deep dark place the courage to fight for the visibility of their true light. It made me realise the importance of loving each other, even if it’s for a night, even after a failed sexual experience that left you feeling worthless and unlovable.

    “I love you.” I told Thabiso.

    We never saw each other again.

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  • FAKA Release New Track

    FAKA, the performance artist pairing of Fela Gucci and Desire Marea, has dropped a new single. In their role as pioneers for sexual identity and style the duo have named the track ‘Isifundo Sokuqala’, (the first lesson) and it described as Ancestral Gqom-Gospel. The song is ethereal and exquisite, listen to it here.