Tag: book

  • Caster Semenya, “The Race To Be Myself” 

    After years of remaining silent and never truly sharing herself, Caster Semenya was ready to tell her story, and boy did she leave it all on the page. Few memoirs can be called more than autobiographical, however, Caster has managed to tell her story with humour, raw honesty, and an admirable sense of confidence that starts from the first sentence, “I am Mogkadi Caster Semenya. I am one of the greatest track and field athletes to ever run the 800-m distance.” I know of no other athlete who has shared their story so authentically, and honestly before. 

    Caster’s memoir encompasses her childhood in rural Limpopo, the first moments she knew she would be special at the age of 8, an athletic career that made her one of the most famous athletes of her generation, meeting her beloved wife, and the painful moments she suffered at the hands of the IAAF. “The Race to Be Myself” is conversational, and no rock is left unturned in this emotionally moving and enlightening book

    Caster Semenya

    From an outside perspective, as someone who has only watched Caster run and talk in a few interviews over the years, it’s hard to think of her as someone who is larger than life. However, her personality comes off the page  as she synthesizes her past and present, in colourful and often humorous language, ” Seme looked like one of those cartoon characters where the eyes would roll with dollar signs or his face turned into one of those casino slot machines…” (The Race To Be Myself, pg 108) 

    Writing her story right from the beginning, and including her days climbing trees, hunting with her male cousins, and growing up amongst her sisters puts into perspective where Caster’s confidence stems from. What may sometimes come across as arrogance in her interviews, is actually the product of growing up in an environment where Caster was never othered or treated any differently, her parents brought a girl into this world, and Caster’s unwavering belief in who she is never faltered even as the world told her otherwise, because the people that mattered most to her allowed her to boldly be just Caster. 

    The book is laugh-out-loud funny at times, especially as Caster describes how she has zero tolerance for bullies and how she often settled those disputes with her fists as a child. This is a  belief that she has carried into adulthood, as she faces the IAAF and continues to fight for the human rights of other female athletes who have been the subject of gender testing. But as much as Caster’s light-hearted tone introduces humour to the story, it also breaks one’s heart as she recounts the times when her body and human rights were grossly violated. One of the most profound things about the book is that Caster never stops to pity herself, all that comes through every page is her determination, “I want to run. I want to win. That’s it.” 

    Caster Semenya

    In just 306 pages, Caster manages to cover a lifetime in vivid detail. No name is left off the page, and no detail is considered too small, she remembers and writes about small moments of kindness as much as the moments of cruelty that she faced at the hands of her fellow athletes. Even as Caster rightfully names and shames some people, the moments that truly mark her as the resilient and powerful person that we know and love, are the quiet moments often away from the track. For example, how she came to create her signature cobra sign that we are so familiar with or the meet-cute with her wife Violet,  all are the actual hallmarks of the book. Moments that we have only witnessed through the media, like her two-time Olympic wins, are given arresting detail in the book, so one not only sees Caster as one of the greatest living athletes of all time but also one of the most resilient and iconic women that have ever lived. 

    This is a book you inhale, simply because it is that gripping. Written in simple but clear language, Caster pours out her life and also takes the time to reflect on some of the moments that she lived through. There are many take-aways from the book, mostly, Caster’s absolute determination and discipline, and some the sheer cruelty and eugenics that still govern the athletics world. This is perhaps one of the most important memoirs to come out of South Africa, since President Nelson Mandela’s “Long Walk to Freedom”. 

    Caster Semenya

    Caster Semenya

  • ‘Come Back To Bed’ – rediscovering intimacy

    ‘Come Back To Bed’ – rediscovering intimacy

    The following is written by Robert Tennent, a young man who is sharing his story of emotional healing after sexual assault through an exhibition and book titled ‘Come Back To Bed’. He hopes that by sharing his story it will provide awareness as well as offer a source of comfort and courage for those going through similar experiences.

    I don’t remember much but I do remember how I felt afterward. I remember getting home that night, confused about everything. I knew that I couldn’t be intimate with anyone for a long time.

    I felt like I didn’t know myself. Questioned my sexuality a lot. Extremely confused and pushed people away so I could be alone. I lost a lot of myself during that time. I developed an eating disorder and put my energy into something negative. I chose to remain celibate until I was sure about what I wanted to do, and also to accept what happened to me.

    I met a man who was a total dreamboat. We clicked instantly and I don’t think I will ever forget him. I had it all planned out in my head about how the night would go, and that was the first time I had thought seriously about having sex with someone again. We finished our drinks and decided to walk back to my hotel. We didn’t end up having sex but I knew I wanted to. I asked him if I could see him again soon and he said,“I’d like that”.

    He made sure I was comfortable. He told me he would stop if it was getting too much. He held me and kissed me to make sure I was okay. It was too much for me. I was getting flashbacks and my body rejected it. I told him I couldn’t do it and he stopped straight away. We fell asleep next to each other.

    A few months later I saw him again and we spent the weekend together. It came so naturally and we had a great time with one another. And this time we had sex. And I was okay with it. I had my camera on the side table next to his bed and asked if I could take a photo of him. He said yes so I snapped one picture of him covering his face. I took another one of his legs crossed. I developed them and saved them on my phone.

    I started doing this to everyone I slept with after this. I asked them beforehand and some were hesitant but most were fine with it. I wanted to make sure they were comfortable with it. I wanted to capture the intimacy in the images. I wanted to be able to remember every detail of my time with them. I wanted to be in control of the situation. I knew this was helping me. I had to go through this in order to move forward. I had to rediscover sex again. I knew this was something I wanted to share with the world.

    I began to write about these men. I wrote about how I felt about them. I also wrote about the man that assaulted me. But I decided to exclude that from my book. I read through it again today and I am choosing to share it. I am holding nothing back anymore.

    ‘A pain I would feel many more times in my life.

    But this pain lingered

    I felt as though my body had been tampered with. You cut the wires that went to my mind and switched off some parts of my body.

    I became a stranger in my own body.’

    I live in New Zealand and I rarely hear about these topics. We don’t speak about them in schools. New Zealand has the highest amount of teenage suicide worldwide. Everyone I spoke to about this had no idea, and I’m sure people reading this didn’t know. New Zealanders tend to look at the outside world and we hear these stories going on in the world but there is almost a ‘thank god it doesn’t happen here’ mentality. I have heard the sentence ‘it is worse in a lot of places’. This is not an excuse for us to ignore it in our country.

    To be able to hold the exhibition in my city was a blessing. I wanted to bring people together to talk about this and to bring survivors together to celebrate surviving. The book was a way to get people to speak about the topic. I used every opportunity I could to promote my story and the importance of healing and looking after yourself.

    I want the conversation to continue. There will be people out there who have no idea who I am but they know about my story and my book. That’s enough for me. If someone is speaking about assault and healing, then I have done what I wanted to do. If this conversation was around when I was going through my assault, I think it would have helped me. I want people to be able to know that there is a life after an assault and that it is hard at the time, but you can get through this.

    ‘Come Back To Bed’ is available online.